What kind of bird is Mr.Right?
By Lauren Frances, Illustrations by Thomas Thesen
What kind of bird is Mr. Right? Men are like birds, says US author Lauren Frances, and develops her typology from Hawk to Peacock. How to catch the right bird and why plane travel offers great opportunities for bird watching – that’s what the experienced Men Whisperer, who counsels many Hollywood stars about relationships, wrote exclusively for woman’s world.
The art, to at anytime catch a man that we want, is a challenge. And it wants to be learned. Best to practice flirting during travel: At the airport and onboard you have opportunity to meet interesting specimens. So don’t miss the chance to set man – traps, and enjoy the fun of a romantic excursion –whether First-, Business – or Economy class. The flirt with a good-looking person beats every nap by miles. I know of what I speak! Get a bird’s eye overview of the passengers on the plane. Tip: Go to the very front of the cabin, turn around, and – voilà! – now you can check out every passenger perfectly. If you’re a good observer, then use this lookout to your benefit.
But without eye contact, you’ll never meet anyone. That’s why you have to position yourself so that you can immediately see every new passenger. Never take a window seat, instead always choose a seat by the aisle, where lots is going on. Look around: You can always pretend to look for someone. It’s even true – you just haven’t found him yet!
Think about the most frequented areas. On a plane, people tend to collect at the back of the machine. If you see someone you like, this is an ideal place to mingle. You’ll be surprised at how little effort you’ll need to draw the attention of birds. You just have to use the come-hither hand signal, my patented men-magnet system –it’s guaranteed to work. Even in cram-packed rooms, it pierces directly into the heart of groups of men, no matter how impressive their display.
As soon as a good-looking man is within reach, look him directly in the eye and make a charming come-hither move by crooking your index finger. Add a tiny smile. For men this gesture is absolutely irresistible, because she appears unbelievably sexy and confident. Like hawks they’ll ounce on you. When he lands by your side, say “Nice tie!”
On your journey you’ll surely meet one or two lame ducks, but don’t let that discourage you. Maybe my new ornithological research results from the world of business travelers will help. I wish you a good flight and an accomplished landing!
He’s the alpha type that takes what he wants. You’ll find him in Business Class on his cell phone, Bluetooth plug in his ear, constantly busy with his PDA. He is self-assured and loves to parade in the aisle. When the peacock is in the mood for procreation, his plumage spreads automatically. He will tell you how he beat his competition in a board meeting, or how he conquered a Nordic invasion of long-distance skiers in Aspen, Colorado. With this type of bragging he displays his potency and the fact, that he’s high above all other males, in other words: “I am made for you”. And: “Please pluck me!” Never be insulted then, if a man tries too hard to impress you. Don’t confuse his preening with insecurity. In reality he’s paying you a big compliment. Enjoy the show!
This type of man enjoys being in a solid relationship. In truth, he needs it. Well, „need“ isn’t necessarily a bad word, when it comes to men in relationships. Because the truth is: Men only marry women they need. You’ll recognize this species by the fact that the sentence “I absolutely want to get married” crosses his lips as readily as “We’re looking for a new receptionist”. Owls prefer to call the same person every day. The unchanging one! They’re often called serial-monogamists, which sounds as if they were criminals. That’s unfair, the truth is: they’re wonderful.
He’s between 40 and 50 and still so fit, that he sees no reason to tie himself down. Women love him, his career leads straight to Mount Olympus. He has good chances in every age group, because he’s charismatic, good-looking and…well…he is. The Starling always flies First Class, the whole way. And, Honey, you’ll know him by the ink on his fingers, with which he soiled himself signing contracts – and of course while giving autographs. Men with George-Clooney-syndrome often flock together with other rich, good-looking and equally commitment-phobic men. They’re of no use beyond an adventure.